It could have been the sand and water that was still on me or just the “Virginity God’s” conspiring against me but it didn't matter. No man woul... want me right now. As I entered the bathroom I caught my reflection in the mirror. It was even more hideous than I thought. The hair on the left side of my head was a jumbled mess. There was still sand all over me and my left boob was hanging out from where my baby doll strap had torn. “Grrrr,” I snarled at the reflection in the mirror and mirror. That Saturday morning my wife showed me the close she wanted me to wear for the pictures and got dressed in this little black dress that was enough to make me blow my wad right then and there. She asked me to zip her up and I began to run my hand up and down her soft back and around to lightly touch her irresistible breasts. She slowly stepped and away and informed me the photographer would be there soon and that I would have to wait until later, but she promised to make it worth the wait as. Just what are you trying to find out?'The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married; so we can't go to her house. I'm married; and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50, and best of all ... Medicare pays $43 of it.This one is compliments of JerryYou Know You Are In A Redneck Church If... ... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used. Fighting to control my nervousness and not stumble I kept thinking that everyone in the room knew what I was about to do. My mind was racing through the details of my plan when a little feeling of cowardice started to come over me. Upon entering the ladies room I went to the stall farthest back. Slipping my coat and scarf off, I hang them on the door hook and started to unbutton my blouse. My hands shaking as I undo each button. The door to the ladies room swings opening causing something.
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He had sent her a text message with no detail other than traffic was at a stop on the interstate. She was glad she had arrived early; her morning wal
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